


A Stone Under Feathers

by lifegavemelemonsandimsad



Series: Dan and Phil - Book of Poems [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One way feelings, Phan poetry, Phil's POV, Poetry, how does one tag poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 01:59:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16108430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifegavemelemonsandimsad/pseuds/lifegavemelemonsandimsad
Summary: Phil's mind raced a familiar trackas he lay still on his back,eyes staring more through than at the ceiling.The word 'boyfriend' sat awkwardly in his throat, he tried to swallow it down but he only choked.He was stone cold,under a feather duvetwith his best friend– boyfriend, at his side, sleeping...





	A Stone Under Feathers

Phil's mind raced a familiar track

as he lay still on his back,

eyes staring more _through_ than _at_ the ceiling.

 

The word ' _boyfriend_ ' sat awkwardly in his throat,

he tried to swallow it down but he only choked.

He was stone cold,

under a feather duvet

with his best friend– _boyfriend_ , at his side, sleeping...

 

**I don't belong here.**

**I know, you want me near, but**

**I don't want to lie.**

_**Your lips don't make me want you more.** _

**It's always _my hand_**

**in _yours_ ,**

**and never**

_**your hand** _

**in _mine_.**

**I'm being _suffocated_.**

  
**Long nights like frostbite,**

**your sweaty limbs, loving and lifeless, make me shiver.**

**Head so close to your chest, I can hear it fall and rise,**

**it only makes me colder, Dan, _I'm exhausted_.**

**You don't try, I know, but you overwork me.**

**My mind, my body is _aching_.**

**Yet, still…**

**all you are is gentle.**

**All you have ever been is**

**Is _gentle_...**

**So _why_ am I _crumbling_ under every little**

_**touch** _

**and**

_**talk** _

**and**

_**hold** _

**and**

_**kiss** _

**and**

_**fuck me** _

**for not being able to**

_**love you!** _

**...**

**I love you...**

**No... I do,**

**I love you,**

**But I'm _not_ in love.**

**And I'm sorry.**

**Author's Note:**

> This is one piece in a book of oneshot poems; meaning each piece is independent, none having anything to do with the others. 
> 
> Comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are immensely helpful and greatly appreciated!   
> (also come say hi! i don't bite! Twitter: @lemonsandimsad)


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